Where we don't go
by Marius the Roman
Summary: Sometimes when you cant sleep things happen that you wish wouldn't. You have urges you'd rather not have. But then sometimes things happen that you secretly hoped for Roger/Alex slash. Rated M, for explicit scenes...
1. Urges

**Disclaimer - Not mine, we get it already.  
A/N; just some random little thing I came up with. **_**Is Slash!**_** Will become M rated in next chapter. You have been warned.**

Alex stared at the wall in front of him, and started again.

Alex was many things – one of them being an insomniac under stress – but unimaginative he was not. He had creatively decided that instead of counting sheep, he would count bricks. He'd been counting the bricks on this wall every night for weeks.

He'd even named some of them. He'd even given some of them family relations. And by some he meant all. The reddish brick in the corner, Jan, was the mother of the out-of-place grey brick, Tamworth, the yellow brick in the centre of the bottom row, Cedric, and the burnt brick, Cocoa. Cedric and Cocoa were the parents of Gary, Alex, Alan, Jon, Raoul, and Roger. Alan and Jon were the parents of Roald and Cythera. Gary and Raoul were the parents of Smithy. Because male bricks were allowed to (and more importantly, could) mate. Lucky little bastards!

Not, of course, that Alex was jealous. Why would he be jealous of bricks? That would be silly.

Alex was many things, but he was not silly.

And, no matter how many of his imaginary friends disagreed with him, he was not jealous.

Not of bricks, not of Alan, not of Delia.

Especially not of Alan (or the bricks). Who would want someone as powerful as Roger out to get them? Even if that meant that Roger was obsessing over you all hours of the day.

No, that didn't sound right.

Especially if that meant that Roger was obsessing over you all hours of the day.

Because Roger obsessing was bad. Even – especially – if that meant Roger dreamt –

Alex wouldn't even go there. Alex knew not to go there. Alex knew he couldn't handle going there.

So no, Alex was not jealous of Alan. Or the bricks.

Maybe, just maybe, he was jealous of Delia.

No. Alex didn't like that idea. Delia was a whore, he had too much pride to be jealous of a whore. Even if… but Alex wouldn't go there.

**I love you, but only if you read and review.  
Marius.**


	2. Roger

**Disclaimer: Yeah... not mine. Tam Pierce's. We get it.  
A/N: Warning! Do not read if you are offended by slash or explicit sex scenes! You have been warned.**

Alex heard the knocking on the door, and yet, he didn't.

He knew someone was knocking, but it seemed at of his daydream.

Yes, daydream. For though it was the middle of the night, it was most certainly not a dream – because Alex would need to be asleep for that. And Alex was certainly not asleep.

"Alex! Why didn't you let me in? I felt awkward barging in on you."

Alex stirred at the voice, and glared at the face. "Like hell you did. You never feel awkward."

Two dark eyebrows pulled together, and two blue eyes narrowed. "It goes without saying, Alex. So you don't need to so callously point out that I'm saying it for politeness's sake."

Alex was in no mood for arguments with the quick-tongued man. He ran his fingers through his hair and mumbled, "Whatever."

That clearly wasn't a good response, and Alex should have known that. He realized his mistake about a millisecond before the duke did, though. So it wasn't too much of a surprise when he felt a hard fist collide with his face.

Really, Alex didn't mind too much. The duke hit him around a fair bit, but only when he stepped out of line.

So Alex sat back up, wiped a tiny spot of blood from his nose, and turned to face the duke, armed with his usual apology, "I'm sorry, Your Grace. That was callous."

And The Duke was prepared with his usual reply, "It's okay, Alex. You are forgiven."

They waited for some interruption, but none came. So instead, they just stared at each other. Alex decided he must have been unusually tired, because The Duke's skin seemed to be paler than usual. But then, maybe that was just because there was an unusual amount showing.

The Duke was dressed in the cotton shift he wore to bed, the one with a wide and low neck. The Alex had brought The Duke for his birthday, along with three unconventionally short tunics, and several hoes of cotton-and-silk, the kind that Alex himself liked to wear on hot days due to the coolness of the semi-opaque material. The Duke was under the impression that Alex had brought the tunics for their vibrant colours, the hoes for their cooling qualities, and the shift for the same reason. The Duke had many such delusions.

Alex decided to break the silence. "Did you come in for a reason, Your Grace?"

The Duke blinked, then remembered the significance of those words in that order. "Yes. I came to see if you were having trouble sleeping again. And to see if I could, in any way, assist."

Alex felt a curious shudder of pleasure run through his body, a small part of his mind interpreting those words how he wanted to hear them. The rest of him pretended it was nothing. "And how would you assist me, Your Grace? Unless you have a cure for insomnia in one of your spell books."

Roger shifted onto the bed. "Not in my spell books, no. But I do know something that almost always helps."

Alex knew he wasn't hearing what he was hearing, because that would be wishful thinking. No, wait. Wishful? Of course not! It would be… It would be a mistake. His lips moved of their own accord. "What cure would that be?"

Roger glanced toward the door, and in the dark light Alex thought he saw him blush. But he knew he didn't, because that would be also be… a mistake.

Roger looked back at Alex, and his eyes were determined. Alex knew that look well enough to distrust it – that look said that The Duke would get what he wanted, and soon.

"Alex, kiss me." It was an order, plain and clear. So Alex – even though he didn't want to – did as he was told for once.

He kissed The Duke. Naturally, Roger was in control of the situation. But his control didn't show itself in the form of boundaries. No, quite the contrary.

**RPOV**

I knew my one-time squire better than the boy seemed to know himself. Alex had always had a talent for blindness when it came to his own feelings. In the case of emotions, Alex never realised anything until _afterward_, when such knowledge was rendered quite useless indeed.

The delicious boy was so blind. Had he himself even realised how very hard her was? I snaked a hand around his waist, locking us together. "How long have you been lying here, Alex? Wanting to touch yourself, but not even admitting this need in your own mind." My voice was a husky whisper against Alex's beautiful ear – such delicate ears he had – and I knew the effect it had on him

There was a dragging shudder of breath from Alex's frame. "Please, Your grace," he whispered. _Please what, Alex? Please help you? Please go away? That's your problem Alex, you never make yourself clear. _

"Please, Your Grace…"

He trailed off the moment my tongue touched his ear, and a moan rumbled in his chest. It would be so easy to trap Alex like this, to tease him until he was panting like whore, begging for it with every breath. The very idea made my blood hum.

I let my hand wander over Alex's bare chest; I ran my nails over his pale nipples, bitting the inside of my lip when he gasped and his nipple hardened. It took mot of my self control not to take him there and then. I ran my hand lower down his tone body, finally brushing over his groin. I felt the throb of his arousal through his loincloth, and we both gasped. I was satisfied that mine was quiet enough to go unnoticed – I didn't want him to hear that until the last moments.

Finally, I felt him move towards me. His small, lithe body pushed against mine. "- grace." The last half of some sweet murmur.  
"Yes Alex?"

"Don't care." His moist lips were parted, and for a sweet second I had to take advantage of the situation.

"Don't care about what?" My mouth was still perilously close to his, and if my breath in his mouth was having anything like the effect of his in mine, it would be a miracle if he could form words.

"Don't care that its wrong. I want you. Always have. Always will."

I really didn't care either. Alex's supple body awaited; and he'd waited so damned long for this.  
Since I first saw Alex I'd been in awe of the sharp chin and dark hair, sharper tongue and darker eyes. Since he became a squire and his body began to mature he'd become muscular. But he was still slim, still long limbed, still graceful. Now, slightly taller and much stronger; he represented everything I liked in a man.

I decided that teasing Alex any further was boring, I already knew every sound and expression he made when he was teased – I wanted to see the ones I didn't know.

So, without further delay, I let my hand wander beneath his loincloth, finding the hot silken length of him. My fingers wrapped around the hard shaft and my thumb brushed against the damp head. Alex shivered in my arms, and pressed more firmly against my chest. And still some silly part of him wanted to argue with me, "A…Ahh.. R-Rog-Your Grace… Don't.."  
"Now why don't I believe you when you say that, huh?" I grinned as I softly jerked the boy 's member, receiving a moan as a reply. "I wouldn't have any idea." I managed to elicit another moan from his lips.

"Ah!! Uh….. AH!!" Alex shivered as I leant down to kiss his head "More… R-R Grace… Please! More!"

Being submissive for once, I took his whole cock in his mouth and sucked it; trailing my tongue down his member, caressing it. He groaned, and his hips bucked, trying to get more of himself into my mouth. Teasingly, I pulled back until I was barely kissing his head.  
Alex gave a soft little whimper, one that I hadn't heard before. I smiled, and went back down. He began to moan loudly as his head made its way down my throat. "Oh Mithros! Ah! I'm…"  
I pulled away. Alex stared at me accusingly, but I just smiled at him, "Oh no, Alex, I'm not done yet.."  
Rubbing my finger in with his spilt juice, I spread Alex's legs. I paused only for a second to decipher his expression, and - finding it suitably curious and innocent - entered his hole.  
Alex cried out, jerking with the pain. "Stop, stop! It hurts!"  
I groaned, "Be quiet, Alex! Someone will here, just keep silent. I promise you'll enjoy it." I scissored my fingers, causing Alex to gasp purely out of pain. I was impatient, by I told myself that it would be worse if I rushed him.

Finally, I retreated my fingers. Alex tried once more to wriggle out of my arms; that boy seemed to _enjoy_ insomnia. I sighed, "Oh Alex, you're not going to get away that easily. There's a big friend of mine that wishes to see you-" I removed the cotton shift, revealing said friend. "-from the inside." Steadying myself, I entered the tip of my already damp member. Alex whimpered. I shivered in anticipation and – as I had been dying to do for so many years – entered the boy.  
Before Alex could scream out of pain, his mouth was covered by another mouth and a tongue who stuck in it. After he relaxed a little, I stopped kissing him. "Relax now Alex, it's hard for me to move when you're this tight... Ah... and it would be less painful…" Alex merely nodded in reply. I started to move as Alex relaxed his tight ass and he squeezed my hand to under-press the pain.

I slammed into the tight little body and surprisingly received a long moan. "Yes! Right theeeree…" I chuckled and kept slamming in the younger boy's hole and caressed the previously-hit spot with my tip, making Alex moan louder and longer. "Ngh… More!"  
Quickening my pace, I lifted Alex's legs to get better reach. "Mithros!" This far gone, I couldn't even tell who said it.  
"Gods! I'm going to come…"  
"No! Please don't! Just hold a little more…"  
I shook my head and held Alex's fully erect cock in my hands, starting to stroke and jerk it. Tiny bubbles were coming from it. I grinned, panting.  
"Guess… hm... I'm not the only one, huh?"  
"Ah! Ah!! R-Roger!"  
Screaming out my name, Alex climaxed. His already tight ass contracted, and I came too.  
Panting, we both tried to catch our breath, gasping at the same time.  
As I regained control of my body, I smile. "That's the first time I've heard you say my name," I teased.  
"Oh shut the hell up! It was a matter of fucking time before I would've said it anyway!"  
I felt an uncontrollable smile come to my lips when he swore at me like that. I glanced down at Alex, who was quite limp in my arms, and smiled wider.  
Pulling a sheet over his sweat-damp body, I placed a gentle kiss on the small forehead, brushing away the dark fringe that stuck to his skin. "Sleep well, Alex. You'll need your energy for tomorrow night."

**A/N: Okay, so theres a little RogerOOC in the end; just imagine him smiling evily as he thinks/says all this. Please, read and review!**


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